Zelda adamwestslapdog abridged series
by jmonsterx
Summary: I was thinking why not? I dont own any of this. Plz read and review
1. Chapter 1

I'm not adamwestslapdog and I don't own the Zelda bridged series

Episode one

Deku Tree: In the vast deep forest of Hyrule, long have I served as the guardian spirit… I a known as the great Deku Tree. The children of the forest the Kokiri live here with me. Each Kokiri has his or her own guardian fairy. However there is one boy who does not have a fairy. Because he was a sick little weirdo.

Link: Oh yeah baby take it off. Ahh a castle? I wanted to have the dream with the girls in the hot tub. This dream sucks. All right finally some chick! (Zelda rides by on a horse) How you doing baby?

Zelda: Get away from me you loser.

Link: Great now even in my dreams I'm not getting anybody. Man why does nobody love me (Link turns around) AH!

Ganon: You know you're kinda cute.

Link: NOOOOOOOOO!

jmonsterx presents on fanfiction

Link,  
>He come to town,<br>Come to save,  
>The princess Zelda,<br>Ganon took her away,  
>Now the children don't play,<br>But they will,  
>When Link saves the day<br>HALLELUJAH!  
>Now Link,<br>Fill up your hearts,  
>So you can shoot,<br>Your sword with power,  
>And when you're feeling all down,<br>The fairy will come around,  
>'Till you be brave,<br>And not a sissy coward.

The Legend of Zelda the abridged series

Deku Tree: Oh Navi the Fairy, listen to my words, the words of the Deku Tree.

Navi: Do you always refer to your self in third person?

Deku Tree: No the Deku Tree doesn't. I think it's time for the boy without a Fairy to realize his destiny.

Navi: And what destiny is that?

Deku Tree: Well to get rid of that damn squirrel that's set a nest inside me, of course. Do you have any idea how annoying it is to have nuts deep inside you?

Navi: For the last time yes now stop asking me that.

Deku Tree: Whatever now just go get the boy without a fairy.

Navi: Eh whatever you big wooden idiot. (She flies off) Why does it have to be him, I bet he's not even out of bed yet. (She flies by Mido) Out off my way Jerk ***.

Girl on shop roof: Hello.

Navi: Oh hello yourself, you're probably gonna stuck up there forever. (She stops at the guy next to Mido's house.) Are you humping a rock?

Rock humper: Hells yeah

Navi: Ok got to get out of here, really fast. (She spots links house and flies really fast toward it) AHHHH! ( She hits the fence) Ow I hope no one saw that.

Rock humper: I did.

Navi: Shut up rock humper! (She enters links house) Finally this place is a real freak town. Hey you wake up.

Link: (Mumbles in sleep) no get off me you big green ginger man.

Navi: OK, ah screw it wake up I don't want to walk by that rock humper again.

Link: (Yawns) Ooh they make light bulbs with wings now.

Navi: I'm a fairy you Jack***.

Link: Hehe sweet it talk.

Navi: Right whatever, just come on the Deku tree has a job for you.

Link: Tell him I'll come when he gets me himself.

Navi: You are aware he's a tree right?

Link: Oh I thought he just had a funny last name.

Navi: Funny last name? Geh, you jack***. Just come on now or else.

Link: Or else what?

Navi: I'll kick your ass that's what.

Link: Yeah right like I'd get my ass kicked by a flying light bulb. I'm going back to bed. (link gets his ass kicked by a flying light bulb lol)

Navi: Hehe if this was prison you'd be my b***h.

Link: Shut up

To be continued…

Now the Zelda is free and now our hero shall be, Link! I think your name shall go down into history!


	2. Chapter 2

I'm not adamwestslapdog and I don't own the abridged series.

Chapter 2

Navi: Ok Deku Tree we're back

Deku Tree: Well you sure took your time what took so long I sent for him hours ago.

Navi: Well…

Link: (Picks up sword) I got a sword! (Picks up rupee) I got a rupee! (Picks up another rupee) I got another rupee! ( He later buys a shield) I got a shield! ( Picks up Deku stick) I got a stick!

Navi: Ok that does it stop doing that! It's a stick, no one gets that exited over a stick! I understand the sword and maybe the shield, but a stick! If you do that again, I'm gonna kick you in your kidneys until you pee blood and I'm gonna make you drink it!

Several seconds later Link walks over to Mido.

Mido: So your gonna see the Deku Tree, good grief how come the Deku Tree always likes you, and also that green haired girl. How come no one likes me, ME! From now on we're enemies.

Link: I made an enemy!

Thank god this is a fan fic cause you don't wanna see this.

Link: AHHH! My kidneys!

jmonsterx presents on fanfiction

Link,  
>He come to town,<br>Come to save,  
>The princess Zelda,<br>Ganon took her away,  
>Now the children don't play,<br>But they will,  
>When Link saves the day<br>HALLELUJAH!  
>Now Link,<br>Fill up your hearts,  
>So you can shoot,<br>Your sword with power,  
>And when you're feeling all down,<br>The fairy will come around,  
>'Till you be brave,<br>And not a sissy coward.

The Legend of Zelda the abridged series

Link: And the weird thing was it tasted like raspberry-aid oh what did you want me for anyway?

Deku Tree: I want you inside me.

Link runs away

Navi: Don't you think you could have worded that a little differently?

Deku Tree: Wait come back I'll give you this sacred emerald!

Link: I got the sacred emerald!

Navi: Eh hem

Link: Oh right sorry.

Deku Tree: Ok now that that's sorted out, I just need you to go inside me and kill that damn squirrel that's left a nest inside me.

Link : Oh is that all, well that seems simple enough. I mean its not like you have giant dungeon inside you or anything, hehe.

Deku Tree: Yes, and if I did, which I don't, it probably wouldn't have multiple floors and basements. Also other monsters. Now in you go. (Link enters the Deku tree) I've got a really good feeling about this.

A little later…

Link sets a Deku stick on fire.

Navi: Ok what the hell do you think your doing?

Link: Oh I'm gonna use this stick to set that cob web on fire.

Navi: Fire, but your in a tree, a tree made of wood. Use your head for a minute.

Link: This is no time for thought, this is a time for action,( link runs toward the cob wed with the on fire stick and lights it.)

Later that day.

Dave Davidson: This is Dave Davidson reporting. This is the scene where the Kokiri forest mysteriously burned to the ground. It is believed the fire originally started at the Deku Tree. Some witnesses had something to say.

Link: I'm innocent I tells you!

Navi: Quiet or you'll give it away.

Dave: Someone else was also spotted at the crime

Ganon is saving people.

Ganon: Oh no the forest is on fire I must save the children!

Navi: Oh yes it was him I saw him he had matches!

Link: Oh yeah he said he'd whip ever if I told anybody, I'm so scared.

Dave: There you have it folks, this brave soul has helped put this criminal to justice. And his punishment in this reporters mind even the death penalty is to lenient.

To be continued…

Now the Zelda is free and now our hero shall be, Link! I think your name shall go down into history!


End file.
